I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
pray to the hookup gods
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
