these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
