my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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