p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
