I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
