I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
