Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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