i think i have herpe
just one?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
