It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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