hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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