i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
