I'd wear matching sweaters with you
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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