You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
That accounts for only three of the penises
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
