your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
