My hand turned me down
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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