apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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