Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
