i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Life is so much better after having sex.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
