it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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