Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
