I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
