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there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
being pregnant is like rehab
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
