Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
