He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
