I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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