Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
