you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
