God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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