We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
