Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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