I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
