just come out here and I will go home with you...
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
