I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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