Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
