He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
