Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
