Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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