mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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