You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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