well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
