the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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