K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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