Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
