Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
