should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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