how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
