Got a toothbrush?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
3 2 1 whiskey
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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