Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
PANTIES FOUND
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
