PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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