If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
