He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
