She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
