Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
